Zhonguo Ren

Beijing is a city that takes a lot of energy. And the Chinese are an intense people that require a lot of energy. Put those together and there are just some days that require more energy than I want to put forth. I constantly feel like a foreigner here. So I feel that every situation requires understanding and politeness on my end, lest I get beat up. I am big here, and I think I could take 5-6 Chinese at once. But not 1.2 billion, so I do my best not to offend. And that takes a lot of energy too.

However, as a...well...stranger in a strange land, there are days that I want to pull Fuzi (my bike (not "fuzzy")) up in the middle of the street and be like, "Yo, you all really have a long way to go for first world status." You can tell China is a biking culture no matter how much they've adapted the car because everyone operates under the assumption that when going from point A to point B they can do whatever they please. But as always, I am here to help. China, here are some things to work on...

1. Forming lines. And sticking to them
1a. Not pushing. Especially on and off buses and subways. Next person to push is going to be snapped like a twig. Again, I am bigger than all of you.
2. Pollution. Your city is it's own 2 pack-a-day habit.
3. Obeying traffic laws. I feel like if we all do it life will be good, but since no one does it, it's not just congestion, it's traffic darwinism.
3a. Go the right way down one way streets.
4. Pollution. You people are the oldest civilization on the planet. If you're so good at everything why do you suck so badly at fixing this problem?
5. Quit crowding, otherwise you are all going to kill eachother and that will end the debate on China rising as a power. True, I don't see all 1.2 billion of you making it to modern times, but try to work as a team.
6. There is no need to yell into the cellphone.
7. Milk. It's what everyone is drinking except you.That will be a good start.
8. Pollution again. How did you get the olympics anyway? Did members of the IOC come here? Did they inhale? And what exactly were they smoking? Screw the secret police and the human rights issues, it should have come down to a breathing issue. A little perspective for my team: In the U.S, if your city violates the ozone level laws, you hear about it on the news. The level that you violate is the Catagory I level. It's kind of a big deal because it's rather unhealthy to violate the ozone level. Now ahead of Catagory I we have Catagory II and III (significant increases). And then there is Beijing, which literally cannot be ranked, all that is known is that it is above and beyond Catagory III 119 days a year. It bugs me, man. You all have such a beautiful city. It would theoretically be so nice to ride around. Cyclists' heaven. But you can't see across the street.

Something to work on.